The World’s Greatest Missionary
Evangelist Carl Woodbury
I have been asked to represent a missionary and I am happy to do
so. I will read his resume, as follows:
Brethren, I beseech you, kindly, for Christ’s sake, to send me to all
of the world, to all countries. I speak fluently in all languages and
dialects. I know thoroughly all cultures and traditions. I am
understood by the uneducated and the intellectual, by the religious
and the non-religious, by the moral and the immoral.
I cross all legal and racial barriers. Dictators and despots cannot
stop me. I do not need a passport or a visa. Religions and traditions
fall before me. I work with missionaries. If any of them are ever
wrong or in error, I remain right and truthful. I never change. I have
been perfect from the beginning and I will be perfect for all eternity.
I lead many people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. If the
converts change their doctrine and/or join unscriptural churches, my
doctrine and my salvation in their hearts remain perfect. I will
continually preach in their hearts, urging them to repent, come back to
me and join Scriptural New Testament churches, to be happy and
I will never need to be disciplined because I am right and I will
never change, regardless of where you send me! Popularity, peer
pressure, the world, fame, riches, luxury, safety, lust or any other kind
of sin has no effect on me. I cannot be tempted. I cannot sin or
compromise. You can trust me explicitly.
I am sent into saloons, movie houses, houses of prostitution,
massage parlors, gambling casinos, Mafia meetings, illegal dope gang
meetings. I am not afraid and I will not be quiet.
I will remain for hours, for days, weeks, moths, for years, or
decades, waiting patiently to be heard in restrooms, closets, desk
drawers, books in a library, (even in the wicked books), hotel and
motel rooms, in Gideon Bibles, in telephone directories, under
mattresses, under a carpet that will be changed someday, under chair
cushions, restaurants, in song books in heretical churches, even in a
burial vault that will be opened one day.
I love to be thrown to road gangs, up and down the highways, in
front of mail boxes. I capture everyone’s attention on buses, planes,
air terminals, train terminals, shopping malls, Disney World, and
Disney Land. I have a captive audience on ships, barges, in jails,
penitentiaries, hospitals, welfare lines, post office lines, and social
I am your missionary’s helper when he is not heard and cannot
stay. I will remain behind, preaching his message over and over.
Your missionaries can systematically place me (or sow me) in the
homes and businesses and then come back again later, preaching the
same message of salvation, but with a different theme, until hearts are
attracted and opened for them to work , to reap.
Here in America, if you will unselfishly place me (sow me) in
areas where you would never expect any gain of members or tithe,
God will not be your debtor, but will reward you with converts,
members, and financial help in your church from people you did not
reach. God will miraculously bring them in.
I love to take your young people on sowing parties, preaching ,
witnessing, while having a big, fun, good time. You don’t have to be
religious to work with me. Just be natural, polite, personable, and
friendly. People like me best like that. Don’t look like you are
suffering on your way to heaven, associated with me.
I will never get angry or frustrated or impatient or impolite. Spit
on me, tear me, kick me, stomp me4, curse me, but I will always be
my old loving self. Leave me in the rain, snow, ice. I n the spring
will pick me up, dry me off. believe me and go to heaven. Throw me
in the back of a pickup truck, and the wind will blow me out just
exactly where the Father desires. I will be picked up and the wind
will blow in that heart as I preach.
All over the world where pastors are limited to preaching to small
congregations, I help them enlarge their listening audiences from one
to five or ten thousand every week.
I will never quit! I will never come home for sickness, death,
family problems, or be forced out by the governments.
I never take a furlough. I do not have to have a suitable, safe
home. I will not make any bills for food, education, clothes,
transportation back and forth across the oceans. I will never need
glasses or hearing aids. I will work the homes of the heathen all night
long while the missionary gets his needed necessary rest. I will stay
in the vomit on a tavern floor. till I am swept out onto the street the
next morning., rained on, picked up by a bum, believed, and carried to
I love all people alike. I am not a respecter of persons. I am the
only missionary in the world that does not have any, not even the
slightest, racial prejudice! I am perfect love.
I yearn to go to all continents, the North Pole, the South Pole, in
every language. Work is finalizing to put me into language where
there is no language.
I can preach in 66 books, in one Book, in a chapter, in a paragraph,
in a sentence or in one word. The Father can take one word of me
and reach everyone, lost or saved, turning me as he desires. I work
miracles, I work true miracles.
I am the Word of God! “In the beginning was the Word, and the
Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) “For ever, O
LORD, thy word is settled in Heaven. Thy faithfulness is unto all
generations.” (Psalm 119:89-90). My name is the Word of God.
A shorter version of me is called a Gospel tract.
Please! will you go with me all over the world and help me preach?
Do you carry and give out gospel tracts?
On July 24, 2012, I passed out tracts door to door in Escondido, Ca. I went back and left off where I started in the morning. I was hot and tired, so I sat down to eat an orange under the shade of a tree, on the curb. I heard someone say “You going to pick up the paper?” I did not understand what the man was saying from his front yard, so I went over, and he said “You going to pick up the paper?” I thought another person was scolding me because a tract had fallen on the ground. But no. His daughter had read “Eternal Life is a Free Gift” and asked Christ to save her. Amen! On the back of the tract, they ask you to fill it out and mail it in (to the fellowship tract league). This girl’s dad, who was from Oxaca , Mexico, thought we (the church people) were going to be coming back by to pick up the gospel tract his daughter filled out. I had just mailed out the message containing “The World’s Greatest Missionary” the week before. To me , this was The Lord gave me a “Thumbs up” on it, Amen.